Have you ever had thoughts like “I’m fat”, “I feel fat”, or “It’s not worth it”?
If so, you’re not alone.
You may already be aware that these thoughts are part of an automatic script.
And you’ve learned how to start managing these thoughts by connecting with your body and then tuning into your feelings.
So today, we’re going to approach this from a mental perspective by learning to reframe the negative self-talk.
In today’s post we’re going to dive into:
- 4 simple but powerful responses to negative self-talk
- A ½-imaginative way to reframe negative self-talk
- And a visualization to help you connect the new thoughts to your feelings and body.
And if you want to take your visualization further and set sustainable goals, then I encourage you to join my newsletter to receive a copy of my FREE goal planner.
RESPONDING TO NEGATIVE SELF-TALK
It’s important that when you respond to negative self-talk that you don’t blame yourself or make yourself feel wrong in any way.
This is because approaching your egoic self-talk from a negative place only makes it harder to reframe your self-talk.
Instead, you want to approach yourself – your thinking – from a nonjudgemental space.
You want to approach yourself as if you were a child.
So, here are some simple ways to respond to your self-talk and begin the process of reframing negative self-talk.
- Is that really true?
- Be that as it may…
- What else might be true?
- Is there another perspective to consider?
Take a moment to create a list of your own responses – responses that feel as if they are coming from a non-judgemental space. Use this list to question the negative self-talk that comes up for you.
THE HALF-WAY POINT
So, you asked yourself the above questions and your answers were…
Yes, it’s true.
Nothing else is true.
The perspective of shut your face!
Is that normal? Yes.
The questions above are just a starting point – an opportunity to open a dialogue with yourself.
But when you’re working with egoic thoughts it’s not always possible to reframe them in an instant.
So, instead, try asking yourself the following questions:
- What would be the opposite of [the negative self-talk]?
And if that thought feels unbelievable to you (it probably does), then ask yourself:
- What thought lies somewhere in the middle of my original thought and the opposite thought?
In other words, what’s the half-way point?
Can you get on board with that?
Take a moment to write out your negative self-talk, the opposite thought, and the half-way point. This will be useful for the exercise below.
VISUALIZE AN ALTERNATIVE
Now that you’ve questioned the negative self-talk and begun the process of reframing, let’s power-up your self-work with a visualization.
Close your eyes.
Take a few deep breaths.
And see yourself in an empty, white space.
You’re here to rebuild your reality with these new thoughts (the opposite thought and the half-way point – whatever feels most believable to you).
Choose one new thought and begin to see it materialize before you.
If your new thought is “I’m healthy and confident in my body”, begin to see yourself as a healthy and confident person.
What are you doing?
Who are you with?
Where are you?
What time of day is it?
How are you dressed?
Imagine every detail.
Focus on how this thought is changing your feelings.
Focus on how this thought is showing up in your body.
Repeat this for the other new thoughts on your list.
Before you close out your practice, take a moment to notice how your thoughts, feelings, and body have shifted.
When you’re ready, open your eyes.
PUT YOUR VISUALIZATION INTO ACTION
You may find that the practice of visualizing and tuning into your thoughts, feelings, and body is a deeply powerful practice.
This may be where you choose to stop.
But if you want to take your visualization further and set sustainable goals, then I encourage you to join my newsletter to receive a copy of my FREE goal planner.
AN ART-BASED APPROACH TO NEGATIVE SELF-TALK
You might find it helpful to create an illustration of your negative self-talk or your new thoughts/goals.
As a client, I provide you with personalized art-based practices to help you process your emotions and visualize your goals.
And you can get a taste of what that is like by joining me on a free consultation call.
Until then, check out this simple illustration I created after meditating on how negative self-talk shows up for me.
Here, egoic thinking is represented as venus fly traps at my heart center.
The victim ego acts as a predatory plant – consuming whatever bolsters the story of victimhood.
This was a powerful exercise for me, and illustrating victim ego has really allowed me to keep it in check.
I am now more aware of when my ego might be latching onto unimportant details in an effort to remain in victimhood.
And by approaching myself with compassion, I have been able to remain more present and heart-centered – staying out of those egoic thought loops.
So, how will you illustrate your negative self-talk or your new thoughts/goals? Let me know in the comments below.